pande-monty-um:

Venom Snake: Kaz as you know my rifle is being repaired in Russia.

Kaz: yes it’s all no one is talking about

Venom Snake: due to its absence I borrowed Ocelots favourite revolver and… I lost it.

Kaz: that revolver is his best friend. I’m not even saying that as an insult. I’ve heard him say it. How’d you lose it?

Venom Snake: I have a mission coming up and I was toying with the idea of incorporating that gunspinning into an intimidation technique. So I went out on the bridge to practice…

*scene of venom snake standing by the edge of the rails spinning the revolver until until it flies out of his hand and spins into the ocean below*

Venom snake: Ocelot is going to be very angry, maybe even angrier than that time one of the new recruites claimed I wasn’t the real Big Boss.

Kaz: You know, I wouldn’t worry about it. Ocelot’s, like, physically incapable of being mad at you.

Venom Snake: I don’t think he’ll be disrespectful, but certainly he’ll be upset.

Kaz: Ehh… watch this.

*kaz leans out the out the office door* Ocelot! Someone lost your revolver, dude.

Ocelot: *gets up and starts marching towards him* Miller, you better be joking. That gun is my Best Friend and I will straight up–

Kaz: it was Big Boss.

Ocelot: Oh, that’s fine. It’s just a gun. *Ocelot walks away*

Kaz: *in a high voice* it’s just a pen.