twerkyvulture:

“L.A Beast here, and today all that I plan on doing is tricking what’s left of my mind into effortlessly eating all ten of these cacti in record time. How? Let me tell ya. First, I am going to down four of these dried ghost peppers, which have a Scoville heat ranking of over one million– which is roughly six to eight times hotter than a habanero pepper. Now, when eating hot peppers or spicy food, if the capsaicin in the pepper is strong enough, your endorphins– which are your body’s natural painkillers– kick in, and you start to get all buzzy inside, and even sometimes you feel like you’re starting to hallucinate. And hopefully, after eating those four ghost peppers, it’ll start to feel like I have zero f*cking clue of what’s going on around me. Now, the next step is quite simple, and that is to submerge my entire body into this 96 gallon bin of freezing-cold, ice-cold water. So while my brain is releasing endorphins to protect against the ghost peppers’ capsaicin, it’ll also be sending signals throughout my body to start shivering, to protect against the onset of hypothermia. I will wait five minutes to let my brain and body enter into survival mode, and then from there I will demonstrate how to eat all ten of these cactus, without even feeling it. Because, honestly?– and hopefully– it’s going to feel like I’m shittin’ fire and ice for the next ten minutes, instead of eating these cacti.”